Was listening to Tokio Hotel and Maroon 5.
Went on Tumblr and saw some news about RVP leaving.
Went to Newsnow.
Went to RVP's official website and saw the news that he wasn't gonna renew his contract.
Heart broke.
Became angry.
Tried to accept the situation and tell myself that the cannon is bigger than any player.
Went back to feeling depressed.
Cried.
And here I am blogging with slightly swollen/red eyes.

Why is it always us? Why does it always seem that our players are like mercenaries? I don't really blame him..we haven't won anything solid in awhile and he has a right to question our tactics. But losing our captain in two CONSECUTIVE years? That is just bollocks.
Where do we go from now? Seems like we are back to where we started when Cesc left - boneless and toothless. So what? Another season to regroup and to see another important player leave in the next year?

I don't know what to think or what to say.
It hurts me so fucking much to see what's happening to Arsenal. Who would have thought 8 years ago, we were THE INVINCIBLES and THE team to beat not just in England but in the whole of Europe perhaps.
Who knew?
And what is happening to Arsenal now?
What have we become? A selling club?

I'm too tired to think about anything.
And if I think about this more, I will only end up crying more.
Without RVP, I can't even imagine gunning for the title.
Are we gonna settle for mediocre 4th or 3rd position and rejoice because that was good enough again?
That is definitely not Arsenal's standard and what Arsenal should be looking at.

Oh dear Lord.
What is happening to the club that I love so much?
It's so painful..it hurts so bad.

Such a shame./
Depressing.
No more Vieira and Henry..we continued with Cesc leading us and were close in 07/08 to the title.
Lost our Captain Cesc after a few years..continued after a horrendous start to the season with RVP leading us.
Gonna lose RVP..
Who is gonna lead us now?
Is there absolutely no player who really wants to stay and bring glory?
Not a loyalty like that of Stevie G for Liverpool?
Gone are the days of Tony Adams and Invincibility
What's left?
Only time will tell..

And what can we Gooners do meanwhile?
Wait and pray.
And continuously chant..
Victoria Concordia Crescit..
Because we still have hope and belief in this club somewhere deep down..this club which we love beyond anything else in this world.