So excuse my ranting.

Anyway, yay! India won the World Cup! It was a freaking amazing match..and there were times where I really thought there was no way for them to win. Went over to Jo's place to catch the match...and ate junk food like a pig. I watched till Sehwag got out..and then I went back home..and started watching How I Met Your Mother. See..the perfect remedy when you are so down is Barney Stinson. But obviously, ten minutes into the episode..I was thinking 'Maybe Tendulkar and Gambir are helping India.' I don't wanna be missing out if its gonna turn out to be an emphatic victory even after a shaky start. But what the hell..Tendulkar was out. 30/2. WTH. And I thought to myself..'No Hope..Seriously'. Ofcourse I didn't wanna believe in that..but practically thinking, it made sense. I mean..without a solid start how are you gonna continue building and chase a high score like 275 in freaking 50 overs? It's like not being able to build a building without a proper foundation (Okay bad analogy, but I think you get my point). But whatever..I decided to stop HIMYM and I started to watch the match via online live streaming. Okay, wth. It's still my country. Don't blame me for the attachment and urge I felt to watch the match despite my head telling me that they are gonna loose but my heart telling me otherwise. But anyway..no regrets ;D Amazing partnership between Captain Dhoni and Gambir..and kinda sad that the latter didn't get his century. He was 3 short of an emphatic century..even if it might not have been as formidable as the one from Jayawardene..but still..its a century..and it still stands as a remarkable achievement. And amazing shot from Dhoni to win it. I mean..a freaking SIX..straight to the crowd..more like saying 'This for you, my fellow La Indianos' ;D But anyway..great win..amazing game. And I will take it all ;D I almost had to forgo watching the Arsenal match to continue watching the World Cup final..but anyway..I kinda did both towards the end. But stupid online live streaming..FREAKING ANNOYING. Especially when it hangs and jus remains like that for God knows how long. But anyway..very good fight from Sri Lanka..but ofcourse..the better side won and I don't think anyone can deny that. ;D

Anyway...I am starting to feel more and more let down. Psychological problem? I don't know.

Sucks. Not good enough for anything. Makes me feel like I am a vulnerable kid with low self esteem like Brooke Davis. Sucks.

No I am not gonna wallow in self pity because of my any of my past failures or mistakes..even if I have constant reminders of them around me. It's simply not worth it. Yesterday, I learnt something. Dhoni..okay he is not my idol or anything..but I thought this was thought provoking in some way. Anyway, back to Dhoni. He picked Sreesanth over Ashwin for the game (which I TOTALLY disapproved of)..and let Yuvraj play at numero 6 even though he is an in-form player. And at some points in the game, obviously his decisions were criticised by the media and people alike..obviously because the decisions didn't seem to giving the positive results at that point of time. But anyway, he pushed on and I mean..he kinda proved himself? And also even though his batting statistics haven't been anything great throughout the tournament..he proved his worth and ability by smashing a 91 not out from a mere 70+ balls (WOAH!)

Okay..what I (think I) can learn is..if you believe in something hard enough..don't let anyone stop you from believing in it. I think I have learnt that from Arsenal a million times. Sometimes I feel like their situation in the league or somewhat mirrors mine real life feelings and emotions..yes, sounds weird..but trust me its scarily true at times. If you have passion for something and you love and believe in something..don't let other people's comments hurt you or bring you down. Jus don't let it get to you.

It's hard to make yourself so immune to criticisms or things of that sort. Don't give a fuck about what they think of you. You are what you are and you know it. Show that to them..no point telling cause actions speak louder than words.

Sucks.

You are really making me hate you by saying such mean things and bringing me down. Can't you jus get over yourself and accept me for who I am? I am tired of trying to do things jus to make you happy. Why can't you jus let ME be HAPPY for once and let me do what I want and let me be me?

I don't wanna say it cause it will be selfish of me to..but I am only feeling frustration and mere hatred towards you now..and I am trying to control myself by not saying anything cause when you are angry your tongue works faster than your brain. Please..don't push me further.

And besides..'If you can't handle me at my worst, you certainly don't deserve my best.' Like Marilyn Monroe said.